This is a song about leaving, and I left a lot of things behind in 2023. Granted, some of them were not intentional (RIP to my crocs and favorite horsemanship flag that are somewhere in Montana), but some things desperately needed to be left behind and never seen again. What simultaneously feels like yesterday and a lifetime ago, I left a person who was hell bent on inflicting as much pain on me as he himself had experienced. This pain was marketed as life lessons and attempts to make me grow as a person. Honestly, I almost didn’t make it out. This year however, I finally got to the point where I could leave behind the things he had taught me about myself. I got to leave a lot of the fear, the self doubt and the belief that I wasn’t deserving of even the most basic kindness. It’s interesting to see how different fear is for different people. A lot of comments on my videos talk about how scary the trails we do are, when in reality the majority are great, safe and maintained paths. This year I actually did find a trail that scared me. But in saying that, no trail will ever instill in me the same degree of fear that I felt at the end of the work day, knowing that I had to go home. Traveling and living in my trailer this year wasn’t about going to see cool places (although that was an incredible bonus), it was about re-learning that not only was I allowed, but I was capable. This page was originally born from a deep desire to raise awareness for, and talk about mental health. I’ve been highly aware over the past few years that I haven’t spoken about that as much as I used to. A lot of that was to do with the fact that I felt like I couldn’t. How could I be an advocate for mental health when I couldn’t even be an advocate for myself? I’m still very much finding my voice again, but in the meantime I’m just so thankful that I have this community that I can share my life (and animals) with - both the positive and the negative. So thank you to all of you who are with us on this crazy adventure. I hope this year has allowed you to grow into a better version of yourself and 2024 gives you the freedom to truly flourish 💜❤️ #2023 #reflection #wrapup #mentalhealth #horses #horseriding #fear #optoutside #backcountry #greengoldandblues