Dear Booger, At the start of our little family, you were the first I had ever met. I’ll never forget walking into Obi and Stasis’s apartment the first time I drove to meet him in person and there you were on the other side of the door, fearless and wanting nothing but attention. I remember the look you gave me as you flopped down at my feet and from that point on you became MY cat. Our bond was instant, you were always stuck to my feet or chest and I was always trying to find new ways of playing together and making you comfortable. I am thankful to be the one you’d rough house with, even if “I’m not supposed to play with our cat using my hands”. You were so intelligent, more smart than any cat I’d ever seen and I trusted you to be gentle. You immediately picked up on every trick I taught you and were always ready to perform. We had a trust like no other. I remember your sensitive stomach and how thankful you were when I changed your diet, sometimes I’ll suddenly wake up when I dream of you throwing up to make sure you’re okay only to realize. I’ll never regret taking care of you, nothing was ever your fault I hope you know. There was a couple years before I began college when we would spend every day together 24/7, I feel like in that time we learned everything about each other. You would always be there when I felt dark emotions crawling in and I could open my eyes in the morning and know whether or not you were gonna be sassy that day. Your vocalizations always cheered me up and you knew how to keep great conversation. It never bothered me when you purred so much you’d drool and snot everywhere, it’s why you were given your name and how I knew I was taking good care of you. You took care of me as well. In some of my worst moments you had been there to keep me open-minded, you gave me a routine to keep up with and rarely left me alone. I had always wanted a cat and you were the first one I’d ever been able to really call my own. I remember when we were moving into the attic before we were supposed to move downstairs and we were debating if you should come with Obi and me or stay with Stasia and their family temporarily and how badly I didn’t want to part with you, now I’d do anything to turn back time and change my mind. I try my hardest not to remember our last day together, I have so many regrets that haunt me. Why couldn’t I react quicker? Why did we move the cat carrier into the other room just days before the incident? We trained so much with fire safety escapes at our old apartment, why was this the one time things didn’t go smoothly? What more could I have done or would you still have gotten away anyway? Do you know how much I love you, that I would never mean to scare you, that we searched for you every day? I just want you to know we never gave up, we even renewed the cat traps again this month in hopes we can still catch our torti with the sparkling personality. But I know you better than anyone, you were my old girl with a weak stomach. You needed to be fed small portions at specific times and snuggled into everything warm even during the hot summers. While I’d give anything to see your bright face and personality and hear your voice one last time, I’ve accepted that you’ve become lost to me in this world. Sometimes though when it’s late at night and I can’t stop my thoughts, I swear I can feel you with me. Even now that you’re gone, you keep me going. Thank you for your endless comfort and the memories I was able to have with you, I cherished every day together. If I had been able to say goodbye I would have given you all your favorite things: hand fights, catnip mouse, my cozy sitting area, and most importantly the mac & cheese and chicken pot pie you’d always steal from the counter. You were my mischievous, free-spirited, good girl, and wherever you are I hope you’re exploring everything your tiny paws are able to get ahold of. I love you forever and thank you for everything. ~ Kris