The fear, pain, the lack of safety your grandmother experienced during her pregnancy, has impacted you biologically. This also means that the eggs inside of you, your children, and grandchildren, will go on to experience the trauma you experienced in your pregnancy. How mind blowing is that?! Intergenerational trauma plays a role in whether you will develop certain mental or physical health conditions, but that's only one piece of the puzzle. Experiencing trauma might alter your genetic makeup - and those changes could be passed down to future generations. In this way, a child might "inherit" trauma responses from a parent, such as a tendency to react to threats with a fight, flight, freeze, or fawn response. Low dopamine levels, low serotonin levels, and low vagal tone. Studies have also shown that disturbingly, the saliva of nine-month-old babies of women with PTSD showed high levels of cortisol. Exploring your maternal history is crucial in understanding why you are the way you are, and how safe you feel in your world. Have you explored your generational trauma? Have you asked questions about your grandmothers pregnancy, or your mothers? What did this reveal about you? #trauma #foryou #fyp

Does this sound like your Mother? Seems almost textbook for those who have had a similar experience with a parent. It hurts to even attempt to set a boundary, or to take up emotional space. Some of the clear ways her mother attempts to emotionally manipulate her might not always be obvious for those who have spent a life time believing they are inherently wrong. 🚩Don't be nasty to me - Enters into Victim Mode because she is being met with facts and cannot apologise or hold space for her daughter's experience. This helps her to avoid any accountability or change. 🚩 I am the one person in your life who has stuck by you - this isolates the victim into believing they don't have any other support system. It also communicates to the victim, I have been there for you (which is what a Mother SHOULD do by nature and through unconditional love) and therefore I should get a pass to mistreat you. 🚩 When everyone else was like ' crazy Liza' - Gaslighting and triangulating the victim - even others think you are crazy. This further isolates the victim and makes them reluctant to speak up or trust in others emotionally. It warps the victims view of themselves, making them more inclined to seek out the opinion of the toxic person instead of using their own intuition or trusting the advice of others. 🚩 I gave my life for you girls - When the other tactics don't work, the toxic person will become the MARTYR. Look what I gave up for you, look what I did for you. Even if it is true, they are again taking up space that the victim is asking for. It's impossible to gain any acceptance or validation here. 🚩 When did you become an Ingrate? - When the manipulation isn't working and the victim is holding their own, and challenging the toxic person with facts and experiences- the insults are a last resort. They attack your character. TO HEAL FROM THIS ⬆️ #fyp #trauma

* His words match his actions, and who he claims to be can be seen in his daily behaviours * He respects your time and so makes plans in advance * He feels dependable/ reliable * He is curious about you, and responds to your questions with the same energy * He is responsive to your messages. You don't have to wait for hours or days to hear from him * He involves you in multiple areas of his life, doesn't keep you at a distance or compartmentalises: You're not just someone he visits or takes to a hotel. * He provides comfort when you are in his environment * He can witness and be present with your emotions; he is not overwhelmed by it because he has emotional space for you * He offers advice, and you can see that he enjoys reassuring you, because he actually cares about your wellbeing. * Your nervous system feels regulated and calm in his presence. * He doesn’t allow any female entanglement to threaten or distract him from you. * His energy doesn’t feel toxic * He doesn’t try to push you beyond the pace you are taking in the relationship * He doesn't go into sulking, punishing, withdrawing, silent treatments or other toxic behaviours * He can take accountability for his wrong doing, and apologise * After a disagreement, he is solution oriented. He's not there to give up, he sees conflict as an opportunity to get to know you * He is assertive in his decision making and doesn’t use statements such as ‘let’s go with the flow’. What else did I miss? #fyp #dating

If these statements resonate for you, you can download our guide in my bio • I am suspicious of kindness love, and wait for it to be taken from me. • I believe there is always a motive behind kindness. • I expect people to hurt or use me. • Throughout my life people close to me have used me. • It is only a matter of time before the people I love will betray me. • I have to protect myself and stay on my guard. • If I am not careful, people will take advantage of me • I set up tests for people to see if they are really on my side. • I leave people before they leave me • I am afraid to let people get close to me because I expect them to hurt me. • I am angry about what people have done to me. • I have a strong sense of justice and morality #foryou

I know my inner teenager is cheering for me right now for not only breaking the cycle, but sharing this incredible message with so many other beautiful people ☺️🙌🏼 So excited for these episodes with @The Therapy Girl to go live. #foryou #loveyourself #fyp #