If I had a time machine, I wouldn’t use it to travel back in time. Even if I could change the past, it doesn’t change the fact that I made it happen. Instead, I would travel ahead. I would see if things are worth it, if I have changed for the better and I can be the person I once was. A happy, healthy, loving person. That fleeing feeling of hope is crushing and often feels impossible to reel back in, yet I will suffer with the one hope I have left. I cannot be a person with hate in my heart, it’s not me, and she was right, I have changed, and I hate that I have changed. Either way, I’m alive and there’s that.