people dont talk about the effect of losing parents so young. i didn't get the chance to grow up with you. you couldn't see those core moments of my life...my first day of middle/high school, my prom, my first job, my graduation,meeting my first gf, sending me off to college... all of it,i wonder what it would ve been like. watching the tears fall from your face as you help pack my bags to send me off to school or "hey mom, i want you to meet someone" as i introduced her to you. my future son/daughter won't get to meet their grandma. i think of it all. "you're so handsome", you always told me. you were the only person who thought so & i thank you so much for it. for everything. but i'm so lost without you. i'll do whatever it takes to hear your voice again. for me to call and it doesnt go straight to voicemail. i have so many questions. it's just unfair idk,i just need a hug. to be in your arms again. call it being a mommy's boy idc,i love you so much. it all feel like a dream? yeah a long endless dream that i can't seem to escape. we'll meet again tho & when we do, i have so many stories for you. #theymutedmyaudio