My entire life I have forgiven others with ease rather they apologized to me directly or not.. My love for them was much greater in my soul then the thought of holding onto anger long term. I despise the way anger feels in my body, always have. Until about a year ago I constantly looked to others for my happiness and to no surprise was always left feeling empty and let down. I thought as long as I let go of the anger and kept showing up with love,kindness, forgiveness and compassion that that would be enough. I would feel light and whole again. I could enjoy life. For the most part I buried the bad memories because I couldn’t stand the emotions that surfaced when I allowed myself to travel back in time through my memories.. I thought to myself often “If I’ve forgiven them and I have no anger attached to that memory then there’s no point of going back?” I also prayed that one day all those who had broken bits and pieces of my soul would finally find it in their hearts to personally apologize and make things right. Again, I was looking for others to “fix” me and became even more broken and sad waiting on those who never stepped up to heal me. I thought something was wrong with me personally because I seemed to attract nothing but pain in my life. It was a repeating cycle of heartache, anger, forgiveness, love, and compassion. I constantly showed up for others with a positive attitude hoping they’d be grateful for my caring heart and would finally take care of it as I did there’s. Again, another big painful learning lesson for me. I’m so grateful for that pain now. Tho it would be ideal for those who have wronged me to try and “fix” me, reassure me, protect me, be kind to me, support me, be proud of me and love me unconditionally as I did them… They didn’t and they may never. It was a huge and painful horse pill to swallow but I did. I realized throughout a LOT of trial and error that I am responsible for my own happiness! I have to be my biggest cheerleader, I have to show up for myself, I have to reassure myself, I have to be proud of myself, I have to go back in time and dissect each and every terrible memory that has left me bruised and scarred, and reassure my inner child that I did nothing wrong. I have to be the best friend I wish I would have had all throughout my life. I then had to change “I had too” to “I get too!” Having people in our life who we can count on and love is amazing and truly special! Treasure and hold onto those people 🥹 However YOU 🫵🏼 are the one who needs to keep showing up for YOU! Healing what other people have broken and reliving those painful memories isn’t easy.. it’s honestly the hardest and most painful thing I’ve had to do but I’m worth it 🥹 YOU’RE worth it. It is a never ending cycle of healing but once you start and manage to get through that first ride back in time, you’ll never go back to allowing yourself to hush that inner child within you. You’ll never be so proud of yourself because it takes so much courage, strength and love for yourself to heal what others have broken. In YOUR time. Don’t compare yourself to me or anyone else. It’s okay if you aren’t ready 🫂 it’s okay if you don’t forgive easily 🫂 It’s okay to have doubts 💗 Your gut will tell you when it’s time 🥹 just try your best to listen and get ready to be the bestest friend you ever had! Get ready to finally love yourself 🫂 I can say now with complete honestly that I finally love myself 🥹 and it’s such a beautiful feeling 💗 Your peace is worth fighting for. YOU are worth fighting for and I love you so freaking much 🥹🫂 #selflovejourney #kindness #innerchild #healing #empath #lightworker