Defensiveness in relationships often comes down to HOW we do and say things a lot more than what we say or do. Holding our partner accountable with love and supportiveness is key to avoiding defensiveness. It’s about making them feel like you are a team and you are on their side helping them. Nitpicking is when we come at them with resentment or annoyance which never gets the results we want and only strains the relationship more. Get The Inner Work of Relationships to learn more skills like this to enjoy the relationship you really deserve. #theinnerwork #theinnerworkofrelationships #booktok #innerwork #selfhelpbooks #booksthatchangedmylife #marriageadvice #relationshipadvice #relationshiptips