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There are 3 main things happening in any given moment: 1.) Our experience 2.) Our awareness of our experience 3.) The story we tell ourselves about our experience Recognizing these 3 layers is crucial for living a more intentional and peaceful life. Here’s how to do it: Our experience can be anything we perceive through our 5 senses or in our minds. I smell smoke. I see a red rose. I notice I’m angry. I feel tension in my shoulders. I’m thinking about my childhood. Pretty straightforward. Awareness is the part of us that knows what is happening as it’s happening (which we talked about in this video) Your awareness of your fear is not fearful. Your awareness of your pain is not in pain. And your awareness of your thoughts is not thinking. For instance: Try thinking the thought “I love jelly beans” ten times in a row. As you do, notice the part of you that is watching you recite the thought “I love jelly beans.” Pause to try it out (eyes closed or open). Do you see that there is some deeper awareness that just KNOWS you’re thinking? That’s awareness. Between our experience, and our awareness of our experience, there is a STORY we tell ourselves about what’s happening. We see a dog (experience), we know we see a dog (awareness), and we think dogs are cute (story). We’re sad (experience), we know we’re sad (awareness), and we believe sadness is weak (story). Most of us are not living in our experience. We’re living in our STORY of our experience. Check out this haiku by the poet Matsuo Basho: The old pond. A frog jumps in. Plop. No hyperbole, no exaggeration, no added story. Just the direct experience. The story we add to our experience is what conditions stress. When we view our experience in its most basic form, we often see that it’s less of a catastrophe than our mind is making it out to be. So, when going through an activating event, break it down into these 3 layers: 1.) What’s my direct experience? 2.) Can I sense my awareness of this experience? 3.) What is the story I’m telling about this experience? Then ask: Can I soften my grip on the story & meet this moment in its most simple form? Of course, sometimes the story of your life might be useful: "I'm a great mother," "My life will get better," "I'm doing great." You can use story to your advantage - to feel more positive, to help motivate you, to keep you accountable —but my encouragement is to hold it lightly. As soon as we attach ourselves and our identity to a story, it locks us into an expectation for how things should be. When we hold our lives to some predetermined plan, we're no longer responding in the aliveness of the moment; rather, to past ideas about how things should be. Sometimes those past ideas are important reminders of what our values are, and other times they may be outdated or limited, keeping us bound to a way of being that is no longer true to who we're becoming. When we let go of how things should go, we get to respond in real time, inspired by what feels true and right in this moment, enabling us to adapt, grow, and move fluidly through our moments like water.
Duration: 23 sPosted : Thu, 07 Mar 2024 13:50:40Views
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