When you are a mom of 5 and brave the mall…#momlifebelike #malls #mommingsohard #kids #imfine

we only had one huge blow out & a mild meltdown (i won’t say from who 😜) #momerrands #runningerrands #mommingsohard #newmama

The #1 lie that derails caring parents during the tween and teen years… Believing that now your child is as tall as you, and knows the basics of how to human, your job is done. Believing their moody, back talking, and defiant behavior is all intentional ways of acting out to pods you off rather than a part of their second brain development phase which requires different parenting skills. Missing this key milestones in parenting takes you down an exhausting path of constant conflict, arguing, consequences and painful disconnection. When you know the truth about your teen’s brain, and the proven strategies and tools to mentor them to being the good human you want without more controls, you transform your relationship now and into adulthood. If you’re a caring and courageous parent looking for expert support and personalized answers to connect with your teen, join me Monday for The Empowered Parent Mastermind. You can parent in a way that feels good without being perfect or a push over. Type MASTERMIND ⬇️ and I’ll get you quick access to the registration link. Get your spot before Monday at noonPT! #mommingishard #mommingsohard  #parentingadvice #parentingishard #parentingteens #raisingteens #empoweringparents #momofteens #parentsofteenagers #cyclebreakers #parentsofteens

💥 Mother’s Day is a farce and I won’t pretend anymore. The cultural expectations around Mother’s Day are more ridiculous, more outrageous, more exhausting, more invalidating and more oppressive than motherhood alone. It’s a fluffy, flower filled, billion dollar card buying and marketing plan for moms to do MORE, not take a small break, rest and feel celebrated for the daily unseen and unquantifiable efforts required to run a home, be a good parent, raise good kids, be a good wife, friend, sister, and also carve out time for self care somewhere in that (cause that’s TOTALLY manageable 😂). Yet any resistance to these expectations makes you selfish and an outspoken feminist who needs to sit down and say less. As a boy mom, I’m changing the paradigm. They won’t become partners who expect to expend the same amount of energy on Father’s Day doing what they want, or ‘helping’ as they do on Mother’s Day. They won’t expect their partner to carry the load of planning so they can execute it, or show up as their partner celebrates me (their own mother). And I will NOT expect any mother or partner with a household to run and raising their own children to add to their load and celebrate me. I’ll happily pass that honor and put in the effort they deserve to BE celebrated. Rant over. Post your thoughts below ⬇️ #mothersdayideas #mothersdayiseveryday #mommingishard #mommingsohard #tellingitlikeitis #truthbomb #unspoken #speakmytruth

You say - “You should...” Teen hears - “You’re not smart enough to work through this on your own.” When your teen shares, they’re processing and not looking for a response. If they ask you for input, they want your perspective NOT your advice. Holding your teen capable to problem solve and make decisions that work for them is the most encouraging role you can play. Creating meaningful connection without the SHOULDS using my prove, 3-step framework. Get free access in my masterclass now via the 🔗 in my profile. #mommingishard #mommingsohard #parentingadvice #parentingishard #parentingteens #raisingteens #empoweringparents #parentsofteens

That frustration and resentment that builds when your teen stops doing what they need to achieve their dreams and goals... 😖 😤 😡 After everything you’re doing to support them to get what THEY said they wanted?!!!?? Whose dream is it anyway? When you become more emotionally invested in how your teen’s dream feels for YOU and your attachment to the projected future, you’ve made it yours. You’re more likely to react with criticism and judgement than compassion if they struggle, using consequences and punishment for their lack of effort. They’re afraid because they feel like they’re failing you, so they avoid work with increased anxiety and fear of more failure and disconnection. 1) Staying on your teen’s team means riding shotgun, not driving. Grieve what you need and get back on their team. 2) Normalize struggle and failure to lower shame and guilt and build resilience. 3) Talk about the twists and turns your own life has taken even when you thought you knew how something was going to turn out 4) Support with encouragement and compassion rather than thinking they’re missing out on opportunities with a lack of performance as if you know the outcome. Get my proven framework for being your teen’s ally in THEIR success in my free masterclass today! Tap the 🔗 in my profile to get started. #mommingishard #mommingsohard #parentingadvice #parentingishard #parentingteens #raisingteens #empoweringparents #parentsofteens #parentingteenagers

TRUTH: Motivating your teen requires encouragement not enforcing expectations. Expectation ➡️ a belief that someone will or SHOULD achieve something. SHOULD ➡️ a belief or desired outcome held by you, important to you. ➡️ used to indicate obligation, duty, or correctness, typically when CRITICIZING someone’s actions. How do you feel when someone tries to force their beliefs of how you ‘should’ live your life on you? Do you feel criticized at the same time? Your first reaction is likely defensiveness!!! Even if their way might be right or better.... Screw you! This is EXACTLY how your teen feels 👉👉 unheard, misunderstood and criticized so it’s not surprising they aren’t motivated by your words. It’s time to understand what encouragement REALLY means to be the support you want and your teen needs. Get started with my proven framework in my free masterclass but tapping the link in my profile now (or type MOTIVATE) below ⬇️ #mommingishard #mommingsohard  #parentingadvice #parentingishard #parentingteens #raisingteens #empoweringparents #parentsofteens #parentingteenagers

“My teenager just doesn’t care. I don’t know how they got so lazy!” I get messages like this every day from caring and frustrated parents. Your teen’s lack of effort to create the outcomes you want or value is the SYMPTOM. Then you create a STORY that they don’t care (90% of the time that’s false - I know because I WAS your teen). The SOURCE of ALL behavior is emotions + beliefs. If your teen is afraid to fail, they failed before, thinks they ARE a failure or is worried about failing you, I promise they won’t try and it’s not because they’re lazy. Supporting change at the source means helping your teen build self esteem + confidence while they see you as a safe and trusted ally, not the enemy. Get started with my free masterclass including my proven framework to building genuine connection at the source. Tap the link in my profile today! #buildconfidence #selfesteembuilding #feelingsmatter #limitingbeliefs #behaviourchange #mommingishard #mommingsohard #parentingadvice #parentingishard #parentingteens #raisingteens #empoweringparents #parentsofteens #parentingteenagers

To all the women raising women, let’s break the cycle and empower the next generations to live and lead fiercely and unapologetically from their hearts. Thank you to the women in my life and in the world who have modeled strength, courage, grace and humility while leading passionately to serve others. Thank you to the men who stand beside me and cheer me on, supporting me to go as big as I believe I can without feeling threatened. Thank you to the men around the world who model respect, inclusion and collaboration by encouraging women to rise up and take a seat and speak up at every table. Changing the cycle of unhealthy relationships, pain and trauma is possible. Start by watching my free masterclass at the link below. https://alypain.com/transform-your-teen/ #itstartswithyou #itstartstoday #womensday #mothersanddaughters #mommingishard #mommingsohard #parentingadvice #parentingishard #parentingteens #raisingteens #empoweringparents #parentsofteens #parentingteenagers

MYTH: Your teen will be more respectful and compliant if you just reason with them. 😂 😫 😤 If only that were true. I bet you’ve already tried it 1000x. Your teen’s brain is emotionally reactive, hyper sensitive and often defensive so trying to reason with them is like trying to negotiate with a toddler having a tantrum. This escalates the situation so you both feel unheard and more frustrated! You CAN reason with your teen, if you understand it’s the FINAL step in the process and not the first, which can’t be rushed. Knowing this is key to building mutual respect and genuine connection. Get started with my proven 3-step framework in my free masterclass today! Tap the 🔗 in my profile to get started. Communication and connection doesn’t have to feel so complicated. #mommingishard #mommingsohard #parentingadvice #parentingishard #parentingteens #raisingteens #empoweringparents #parentsofteens #parentingteenagers

Substance use is a symptom of emotional struggle or pain, and seeing it purely as defiance or misbehaving is missing the point. You can try all the controls, consequences and punishment you want to make your teen stop what you know is wrong and that only INCREASES their emotional distress. Plus, it drives disconnection between you so your teen won’t accept your support. Substance use is scary for parents, even if teens think it’s normal with no side effects or impact on their brain. I understand your first reaction is to remove it and stop it RFN! What your teen needs is a safe person, an advocate to get them support that addresses WHY they’re using and the emotions they’re struggling with (fear, overwhelm, anxiety, derepression, etc.). In the short term, set boundaries around where they use or keep supplies while listening more than you talk (lecture). Get my proven 3-step system to building emotional safety and genuine connection to have hard and healing conversations now. Type CONNECT below and I’ll get you free access! #mommingsohard #mommingishard #parentingadvice #parentingishard #parentingteens #raisingteens #empoweringparents

Is your teen struggling with school avoidance, crippling anxiety, power struggles and emotional meltdowns? This is K.C.’s story and how she helped her daughter turn things around without giving up or giving in, and created a loving connection, trust and mutual respect in the process. Watch the video... If you’re ready be like K.C. and her daughter, tap the 🔗 in my profile and watch my FREE masterclass where I’ll share my proven framework - the foundation for all my programs. Get started now and I’ll see you there! #mommingishard #mommingsohard  #parentingadvice #parentingishard #parentingteens #raisingteens #empoweringparents #parentsofteens #schoolavoidance #schoolrefusal

You say - “You should...” Teen hears - “You’re not smart enough to work through this on your own.” When your teen shares, they’re processing and not looking for a response. If they ask you for input, they want your perspective NOT your advice. Believing your teen is capable to problem solve and make decisions that work for them is the most encouraging role you can play. Create meaningful conversations without the SHOULDS using my prove, 3-step framework. Get free access in my masterclass by tapping the link in my profile. #mommingishard #mommingsohard #parentingadvice #parentingishard #parentingteens #raisingteens #empoweringparents #parentsofteens

alone time at its finests 🤌 #momlife #momstyle #mommingsohard

“I’m not ok if you’re not ok”. This is the definition of codependency. Of course you’re going to feel tough emotions when your teen is struggling. What you do from there defines the relationship as either healthy or unhealthy. If you rush in to rescue them, along with rescuing yourself from uncomfortable feelings, that’s unhealthy. Teens say they feel guilty feeling or sharing hard things because they see how it upsets their parent and can’t turn to them for support. If you empathize and validate your teen, knowing you’re both ok even if this situation feels hard, that’s healthy. You make space for your teens feelings without taking them on and have an emotional boundary to know what’s yours and what’s not. Codependency is learned in childhood and it’s very common in our generation because you were raised to please your parents and be responsible for their anger, worry, etc. Breaking this cycle IS possible! Get my secrets to understanding emotional boundaries in my free masterclass now! Tap the 🔗 in my profile to get started. #codependency #codependentnomore #emotionalboundaries #emotionalhealing #imnotokay #mommingishard #mommingsohard  #parentingadvice #parentingishard #parentingteens #raisingteens #empoweringparents #momofteens #parentsofteenagers #cyclebreakers #parentsofteens

Your teen spends all their time in their room and you’re worried the lack necessary social interaction. Not necessarily. Unless they are displaying signs of anxiety, depression or other mental health challenges, you might be raising an introvert. Teenagers, especially introverts, need far more alone time for processing, creativity and healthy development. They’re not broken. Introverts use less words, need less social interaction, and are less animated in their body language and facial expressions. Our world glorifies and is shaped for extroverts so it can be hard not to think there’s something wrong, or want them to change. Supporting your teen’s personality styles starts with my provem framework used in all my programs. Tap the 🔗 below (or in my profile) to watch my free masterclass now! https://bit.ly/3KKG7dT #introvertsbelike #introvertstruggles #introverting #itsoktobedifferent #introversion #personalitytypes #mommingishard #mommingsohard  #parentingadvice #parentingishard #parentingteens #raisingteens #empoweringparents #parentsofteens

“My teenager just doesn’t care. I don’t know how they got so lazy!” I get messages like this every day from caring and frustrated parents. Your teen’s lack of effort to create the outcomes you want or value is the SYMPTOM. Then you create a STORY that they don’t care (90% of the time that’s false - I know because I WAS your teen). The SOURCE of ALL behavior is emotions + beliefs. If your teen is afraid to fail, they failed before, thinks they ARE a failure or is worried about failing you, I promise they won’t try and it’s not because they’re lazy. Supporting change at the source means helping your teen build self esteem + confidence while they see you as a safe and trusted ally, not the enemy. Connect at the source of the behavior now starting with my free masterclass including my proven framework to so your teen builds their own motivation. Tap the 🔗 in my profile for free access! #buildconfidence #selfesteembuilding #feelingsmatter #limitingbeliefs #behaviourchange #mommingishard #mommingsohard #parentingadvice #parentingishard #parentingteens #raisingteens #empoweringparents #parentsofteens #parentingteenagers

You, every morning: “Get up, you’re going to be late!” ⬅️ on repeat 100x 😤 🙄 If you’re going through this frustration with your teen yet driving them to school when they miss the bus and are late - that’s not setting a boundary, that’s begging. You’ve become the expert at your part in this and your teen has you as their current success strategy so why change? Your teen’s brain needs to practice and fail with compassion to adjust, learn new strategies and develop independent habits. This process is disabled when you rescue them because of your fear they don’t care and will fail out. I understand the truancy laws in the US than Canada. What if your teen paid the fine? Your teen’s behaviour won’t change until you change. Get my proven framework for ending this exhausting morning pattern in my free masterclass using the link in my profile now. #mommingishard #mommingsohard #parentingadvice #parentingishard #parentingteens #raisingteens #empoweringparents #parentsofteens #parentingteenagers

TRUTH: Whatever you believe about your teen, you’ll see more of. What are you focusing on? It’s totally normal to feel frustrated and annoyed by your teen and their adolescent, out-of-brain experience that’s challenging to be around, let alone parent through. Here’s the catch: 🛑 your brain is wired to see what you believe and reinforce that you’re right 🛑 your brain can’t be critical and compassionate at the same time So even though those thoughts happen, when you believe them they create your reality and your behaviour/reactions which drive disconnection (because they slip off your tongue). Here’s 3 steps you can take to choose compassion: 1) Write a list of 5 positive character traits for your teen and share one/day, “What I love about you is...” 2) Write a list a list of 5 things your teen has done well/right recently and share one/day, “I really appreciate when...” 3) Be willing to challenge your beliefs/thoughts when they show up and choose compassion + connection. Get my complete 3-step framework for building mutual trust and respect with your teen in my free masterclass today. Tap the link below to get started. https://bit.ly/3KKG7dT #mommingishard #mommingsohard #parentingadvice #parentingishard #parentingteens #raisingteens #empoweringparents #parentsofteens

Do you feel triggered by your teens big emotions? But when you try and solve them your teen gets more upset? Next time this happens, take a deep breath and count to 5. This helps calm your nervous system and keeps you listening rather than talking. Then ask a curious question like, “Tell me more”, “What else?” Or “help me to understand”. The question helps your teen to process and keeps the focus in them rather than making it about you. Type TALK ⬇️ for my proven tips to quickly improve communication and lower conflict with your teen. #conflictmanagement #bigemotions #emotionalexpression #listeningskills #itsnotaboutyou #mommingishard #mommingsohard  #parentingadvice #parentingishard #parentingteens #raisingteens #empoweringparents #momofteens #parentsofteenagers #cyclebreakers #parentsofteens

Grounding your teen or taking their phone doesn’t work to change they behaviour long term. All your teens hears is they made a bad choice, they ARE bad, they failed your expectations, they ARE a failure, they’re stupid and should’ve known better. Over time, your teen becomes more defiant and disrespectful with no real investment in making different choices. Learning doesn’t come from limits alone. Learning comes during the limitation as you connect with your teen through conversation to teach, mentor, talk about what happened, strategize better options for next time and most of all, listen to your teen’s reasoning. Limits are fast and swift but they aren’t a solution by themselves. Get my proven 3-step framework for consequences that work today by tapping the 🔗 in my profile (or below) and watch my free masterclass now! https://bit.ly/3KKG7dT #mommingishard #mommingsohard #parentingadvice #parentingishard #parentingteens #raisingteens #empoweringparents #parentsofteens #parentingteenagers

How is is possible to miss your teen so much yet they live in the same house? You desperately miss the child who wanted to spend time with and share their thoughts with you. Instead, your teen hides in their room and barely comes out for meals. You’re feeling heartbroken and rejected by the same person you’ve given so much to. What if they weren’t intentionally trying to hurt you? Knowing how to parent your teen in a different way that works for their developing brain is key to rebuilding the connection you desperately miss. Get simple, proven tools you need in my Challenge - 5 Days to a Better Relationship with Your Teen starting June 12th. Register NOW using the link in my bio!! You’re not alone. #mommingsohard  #mommingishard #parentingadvice #parentingishard #parentingteens #raisingteens #empoweringparents

“My teen worries about everything and no matter what I say they won’t listen!” What if your teen is struggling with anxiety and their fear is real in their minds? If you haven’t experience frequent, intrusive, negative thoughts beyond regular worries, it can be difficult to understand. It’s like being in a horror movie with no plot or ending but everyone is after you and there’s no escape. Our brains are wired for negativity but the anxious brain has a hard time filtering out the negative automatic thoughts (NATs) and grabs hold of them instead. Anxiety can be managed through specific habits and natural supplements but may require diagnosis or interventions from a medical professional. The key is you believe and advocate for your teen as their ally. For my proven framework of living with my own anxiety and raising a son with generalized anxiety, click below (or link in my profile) to watch my free masterclass. https://bit.ly/3KKG7dT #mommingishard #mommingsohard  #parentingadvice #parentingishard #parentingteens #raisingteens #empoweringparents #parentsofteens #parentingteenagers

Is removing WiFi or technology your ‘go to’ discipline? As simple and easy as that is (and sometimes necessary) it doesn’t do much for your relationship with your teen. It’s a power move.’ If you talk to them first, ensure they understand what action/choice the discipline is for, and ask what they feel is appropriate discipline, you’re likely to have greater impact AND connection. Parents! Let’s not be one hit wonders. Discipline that involves conversation and reasonable consequences goes further to building respect. Get my proven framework for creating lasting behaviour change in my free masterclass now. Tap the link in my profile to get started. #positivediscipline #settingboundaries #setboundaries #healthyboundaries #mommingishard #mommingsohard  #parentingadvice #parentingishard #parentingteens #raisingteens #empoweringparents #parentsofteens #parentingteenagers

Great teens have great parents, right? And struggling teens have failing parents? Not necessarily. Your job is to be open to learning and adapting your parenting for each child as best you can without taking credit when things are good and blaming or criticising when they feel hard. You were enough before you became a parent, and you’re enough right now 💜 Focus on WHO your teen is and creating connection rather than WHAT your teen does as personal validation. Creating meaningful and lasting connection starts with my proven framework in my free masterclass today! Tap the 🔗 below (or in my profile) to get started now. https://bit.ly/3KKG7dT #itsnotaboutyou #expectationshurt #buildconnections #gettingtoknowyou #mommingishard #mommingsohard #parentingadvice #parentingishard #parentingteens #raisingteens #empoweringparents #parentsofteens #parentingteenagers

“I wouldn’t have to do everything if my family wasn’t so lazy!” I hear this from frustrated, resentful moms every day who’re exhausted and about to blow. It’s easy to see ‘them’ as the problem and they need to change for you to feel respected. Setting healthy boundaries is a great start 😉 However, your overcompensating ways are 50% of the problem that’s perpetuating the power struggle to see who gives in first. It’s time to value yourself and own your worth without retaliation on others. Get my proven scripts for getting your teen to do what you ask AND set healthy boundaries around your time and energy NOW! Click below (or the link in my profile) to join my 5 Day Challenge starting June 12th! https://alypain.com/5-day-challenge/ #positivediscipline #settingboundaries #setboundaries #healthyboundaries #teenproblems #mommingishard #mommingsohard  #parentingadvice #parentingishard #parentingteens #raisingteens #empoweringparents #parentsofteens #parentingteenager

“This is all YOUR fault! If you hadn’t asked me to (fill in the blank) I wouldn’t have been late for school!” Blame is one of the toxic communication styles, used to project responsibility of a result on someone else when you feel attacked or threatened (fight or flight). Teens use blame when they fear judgement or criticism if they own their results, or they believe it’s a failure of their character and worth. Normalizing being imperfect and making mistakes lowers their threat of attack so they’re more willing to take responsibility. If blame is becoming a common tool for your teen, get my proven, 3-step framework for creating calmer conversations in my free masterclass today (🔗 in bio)! #communicationiskey #communicationskills #communicationtips #effectivecommunication #blame #mommingishard #mommingsohard #parentingadvice #parentingishard #parentingteens #raisingteens #empoweringparents #parentsofteens #parentingteenagers

You: “Stop leaving your wet towel on the floor!” 😤 Also you: picking it up for the 1000th time 😠 😡 Are you tired of begging and pleading your teen to pick up after themselves, only to do it yourself anyway? The irony is, they won’t START until you STOP because your words don’t match your actions. “So what am I supposed to do, just leave it there to be ruined?!” ⬅️ Said almost every parent in my comment section. Yes. AND, respectfully tell your teen you realize you’re not helping them build healthy habits by doing it for them. Let them know they’re responsible for the task and any subsequent damage caused by not doing it in the future without being condescending or shaming. If you’re sure you’ve already tried this and NOTHING is working to lower your resentment and frustration, get my proven 3-step framework today and start feeling heard and respected by your teen. Get access my signature program, The Empowered Parent Program now by clicking the link in my profile to watch my FREE Masterclass today. #mommingishard #mommingsohard  #parentingadvice #parentingishard #parentingteens #raisingteens #empoweringparents #parentsofteens #parentingteenagers

You just shelled out more money for your teen to go out with friends, get nails + lashes, or new gaming swag + protein powder and you’re feeling resentful. “Money doesn’t grow on trees!” Unfortunately, your teenager may think it does if you keep supporting their best life with no idea of what that costs. Learning the value of their time + money supports gratitude and financial responsibility and sets them up to be a successful adult. Watch my free masterclass today and get my proven framework for having meaningful conversations and setting boundaries today. Tap the link in my profile to get started or type MONEY in the comments. #mommingishard #mommingsohard #parentingadvice #parentingishard #parentingtips #parentingteens #parenting101 #raisingteens #empoweringparents

How do I get my teen to get their chores done without nagging and reminding? Answer below ⬇️ Dad: “It drives him crazy. Even if i ask nicely. And I get it, because I feel the same way when my wife does it.” Me: “Nagging comes from a need for compliance. You want your teen to do what you asked when you asked without consideration for their developing brain. Constant nagging actually makes them more inclined to ignore you because you’re not engaging with them, you’re talking AT them.” Dad: “It makes sense. But what about chores that have a family consequence (empty dishwasher, take out trash)? Someone will have to do those. Does there need to be a “carrot / stick”?” Me: “Don’t use the carrot and stick because it circumvents their brain from building its own stimulus to act and reward system. They’re learning new habits which requires encouragement, patience, and releasing absolute compliance or perfection.” Dad: “ ‘Releasing absolute compliance or perfection’ made a bell go off. I DO NOT want to drive my 13yo son away, yet I do want to help him learn good habits. Thanks! Super helpful.” If this situation sounds familiar in your house and you’re ready for a change, get my proven, word-for-word scripts in my 5 Days to a Better Relationship with Your Teen Challenge starting September 11th. REGISTRATION IS OPEN NOW so tap the 🔗 in my profile to grab your spot today! #mommingishard #mommingsohard  #parentingadvice #parentingishard #parentingteens #raisingteens #empoweringparents #parentsofteens #positivediscipline #buildingtrust #settingboundaries #setboundaries #healthyboundaries #teenproblems