I have good news for you if you and your partner fight more than you’d like. All this fighting does not mean that you aren’t right for each other. As a couple’s therapist, I can tell you that most of the time the issue is simply that there’s a part of you, the inner child, that’s triggering a part of them, their inner child. Let me explain and help you fix it. Maybe there is a part of you that is afraid of being abandoned because you grew up with a mother who was emotionally distant. Maybe your partner has a part of them that is afraid of rejection from growing up with a highly critical father. Your bodies grew up and became adults, but that part of you that is fearful of abandonment or rejection and longs for love still lives within you! That part is your inner-child! That fear you feel when your partner goes quiet or when you feel like you did something wrong is just your inner-child speaking up! Let’s say you are sharing how frustrated you are with your partner for something they forgot to do that was important to you and they start to shut down. Your partner is shutting down because their inner child is trying to protect them from rejection. “We are being rejected. Run!” - Inner Child Your inner child is already feeling abandoned because your partner forgot to do that thing that is important to you, and now the fear of abandonment goes through the roof as your partner shuts down! Your inner child, similar to your partner’s tries to protect you from being abandoned at all costs. Their strategy is not to shut down but to do the opposite. Your inner child tries to protect you by pointing out the problem through criticism “I can’t even talk to you! You just shut down!” This only triggers your partner’s inner child's fear of rejection causing them to withdraw more, and it just keeps going! On the surface, it looks like two adults who can't get along. In reality, it's two terrified children trying to protect themselves from being hurt. If you want to know how to stop this pattern in its tracks, join me in the FREE workshop I am hosting this month called Connected, Safe and Secure. See the link in my bio to sign up. Spots are limited! #connection #healthyrelationship