Introduction: This is a tiktok video published by theartofhealingbytrevor. The video has now received more than 1.2K likes, 5 comments and 80 shares. It is deeply loved by fans. The following is the specific data and similar videos. Address, you can complete the operation on this page by clicking play or bookmarking the video.
I might be the only therapist who tells you to stop talking about your problems, but most of the time when you talk about “the problem”, you are talking about the story and not the "real problem." There is an important difference between “the story” and the “emotional experience.” The story is… 📕Circumstances (I'm doing the dishes alone every night) 📗What was said (Then I said…) 📘What you and your partner did (You then…) When you talk about the story you end up spending hours trying to convince each other that your version of the story is right and the real problem goes unaddressed. The real problem is in the ✨emotional experience✨ 🧼You say that you're doing the dishes alone, but that's not the problem. The problem is the emotional experience of feeling isolated and lonely in the relationship. 👷🏼♂️Your partner gets defensive, saying the problem is that they work hard for this family and nobody appreciates it, but that's not the problem. The problem is in the emotional experience of feeling hurt and unimportant. 😤You criticize you them, saying the problem is that they never listen to you, but that is not the problem. The problem is in the emotional experience of feeling the pain of not being heard by the person you love the most. When you talk about "the problem" (aka the story) you miss the real problem and unknowingly create new “problems.” ie: You get defensive about your version of the story, or maybe you get critical and judgmental of your partner trying to point out that they are the problem. The real problem or the emotional experience becomes more negative, more hurtful, and less safe. The key to creating safety in a relationship is in: 💖Learning how to shift away from the story 💖Address the emotional experience with empathy 💖And seek to create new safe and positive emotional experiences. I don't expect you to learn how to do that on your own. 💻 The Healthy Lover’s course is on sale right now for a limited time. Learn to become a more healthy lover for the person you love the most. See the link in my bio for details. 🔗 #couplestherapy #couplestherapist #communication #relationships #conflictresolution
Duration: 9 sPosted : Wed, 27 Mar 2024 20:59:35Views
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